The Sports Quotes

Please excuse while I mine someone else’s site for content.  
These are from Bill Simmons: The Sports Guy’s ‘Quote of the Day Section.’  (Bill is the cool sports-geek who mixes tons of pop-culture references in with his adequate sports knowledge to create sarcastic and ironic Gen X sports ‘tude-tastic jokes.)
I saved you the trouble of reading all of them (many are just out of context ‘gay’ jokes) and brought you the very best.  

"Ain't no power down there, you know? I was headed down South, but when they told me they had no power and a curfew (laugh) ... Edge needs power and Edge don't need no curfew. Edge time is Edge time."-- Edgerrin James on why he didn't go to Florida during his bye week

"I don't think it's too likely, because I'm not a very good basketball player." -- Mark Pope on his chances of making the Nuggets' roster

"It was another 'Nip/Tuck' game, which you can see on FOX, and now we're heading back to 'The OC' which you can also see on FOX."-- Chris Myers closing out his postgame report after Wednesday's White Sox-Angels game

"A completely magical bend of enchanting scents and flavors, with a hint of cupcakes."-- Britney Spears on her new fragrance "Fantasy Britney Spears"
You folks at home laughing at me, here's what I want you to do: Take an egg timer. Go into the kitchen for three minutes. I want you to turn around, dance on the floor, and then throw punches and imagine someone coming at you. You tell me they're not athletes."-- Brent Musburger on boxers not being considered athletes.

"He invited me into the house for a little bit. There he was with his tight little shorts, no shirt and his little red hat. He was doing some farming or something. He was covered in dirt. It was awesome."-- JP Losman on meeting Brett Favre
(I prefer that one without the homoerotic overtones.  It is just a funny statement.)

"The sun has been there for 500, 600 years ... "-- Mets outfielder Mike Cameron, after teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun against the Dodgers
"I'm always trying to see what the joke is, so I miss the play that's called and I've got to ask a teammate."-- Joe Johnson on the Phoenix's gorilla mascot
"There are things you can't get in Vancouver, like Cap'n Crunch."-- Tony Massenburg on why he didn't like Vancouver when he played there
"When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey."-- Randy Moss
“I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game. Whoever invented that was smart. That's got to be one of the best sandwiches ever."-- Bulls rookie Ben Gordon

"I would rather die in an abandoned building, by myself and my family not know anything, than play for him."-- Shannon Sharpe on Tom Coughlin

"You can't knock the hustle. I mean, you see a brother getting broke off, you gotta like that. All I'm sayin' is don't stop breakin' the bread now."-- Edgerrin James on Peyton Manning's new contract
"All you're doing right now is just flabbergasting your mouths because there are no solid answers right now."-- Emmitt Smith to reporters at Cardinals camp
I’m going to toss in a few more:
"If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is (a competition), then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991."
-Derek Bell, after being told he had to compete for the Pirates starting right field job


And the infamous:
"If I ain't startin', I ain't departin'."
-Gary Templeton on being named an all-star reserve and not a starter

If anyone has some choice athlete quotes, due pass them along.